


You

by Liyyah



Category: Suits (US TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-03-03 14:22:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13343082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liyyah/pseuds/Liyyah
Summary: Harvey finds out about Donna being in touch with Mark Meadows.





	You

**Author's Note:**

> Another prompt I received on tumblr.

Harvey stepped onto the floor of Specter Litt, a storm brewing inside him.

He knew he had no right to feel the way he did. But he couldn’t help it.

It had been weeks since Donna kissed him, since everything fell apart.

They had barely spoken after their fight when he confronted her about it, an explosion that ended with them covered in ashes, smoke clogging their lungs and rubble where a friendship once stood.

His life had spiraled with Donna slipping through his fingers and his breakup with Paula, which didn’t hurt as much as it should have, all on top of running the firm.

And dammit he was _tired_.

_He missed her._

So without thinking he found himself standing outside Donna’s door. However, she wasn’t there. Calling her wasn’t an option anymore so he dialed Mike, who was informed by Rachel that Donna was staying late at the firm to finish up some things.

At some point on the journey to Donna’s place, Harvey’s uncertainty had disappeared and he made up his mind to fix things.

 _After all, he was the one who froze her out_.

Thus, he headed back to the firm.

Only to find that Donna wasn’t alone.

The redhead stood in her office, mere inches away from a man Harvey would never forget.

_Mark Meadows._

Something dark flared within him as he watched them laughing together, Donna’s eyes shining in a way he hadn’t seen in ages. Each had a glass in hand, sharing a drink the way _they_ used to, in the office where she kissed him.

Fingers clenched around his heart, squeezing until his own blood threatened to choke him.

The noose around his neck tightened as he watched them wrapped up in their little bubble, remembering when Donna would look at _him_ like that. When it was _them_ in the building at such an hour, those moments where they ruled the world.

His stomach was nothing but a block of ice as his gaze remained glued to the pair.

_He was losing her._

The thought hit him with full force, knocking the breath right out of him.

Suddenly, he whirled around, needing to escape.

He headed home with every one of his bones broken, his very soul aching.

A panic had overtaken him as the scene of Donna and Mark kept replaying in his mind over and over. He had finally come to terms with the fact that he had feelings for her, that he wanted _more_ with her and it was too late.

She already moved on.

But he couldn’t blame her. What did he expect her to do? Wait for him when he’s hardly even looked at her lately? Give him her heart carved up on a platter for him to break again?

_He didn’t even deserve her._

His entire night was spent tossing and turning in bed, telling himself that he needed to let her go.

Yet as he walked through the firm, he impulsively allowed his feet to lead him to her office.

She looked up as he entered, blinking in surprise.

“So I saw you and Mark together last night,” he said, the words falling from his mouth in all his sleep deprived glory.

_It was the wrong thing to say. He always said the wrong thing._

Anger flashed across her eyes, a streak of lighting striking him in his chest.

“Excuse me?” she bit out.

“Are you seeing him?” he asked, hating himself as he did but he had to know.

She paused, staring at him with steel and he watched as she turned to stone before him.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but no.”

_Not yet._

That was the unspoken sentence that lingered in the air between them.

Abruptly, she stood up and began making her way to the door.

“Donna, wait,” Harvey said softly, gently grabbing her wrist to stop her.

_He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t let her go._

Slowly, she turned to face him and their gazes locked as sparks erupted where his skin met hers. The air between them crackled with electricity and she was so close that he could kiss her.

_God how he wanted to kiss her._

He wanted to pull her against him and tangle his fingers in her hair. He wanted to hold her and never let her go. He wanted _everything_ with her.

His heart was thundering against his rib cage as time seemed to slow, waiting to see if something would be done. Every cell in his body was screaming at him to just break the distance between them.

Vaguely, he was aware of the fact they were most likely being curiously observed by everyone outside but he didn’t care.

 _All that mattered was Donna_.

“What do you want from me Harvey?” she whispered almost pleadingly.

 _I want you_ he wanted to say.

But the words wouldn’t form.

So there they remained, lodged in his throat as he stood there like a fool.

Finally, she pulled away from him, her expression filled with sadness.

He shattered.

And for the second time, she walked away, leaving him breathless and alone in her office.

  
It’s hours later when he ends up at her apartment for the second night in a row.

Sitting in the car, he stared out the window at her building, thinking about what to say.

_He wouldn’t screw this up. He couldn’t._

A thousand different versions of apologies ran through his mind but none of them sounded right.

All of a sudden, he was broken out of this thoughts as another car pulled up in front of them. And none other than Mark stepped out.

The universe laughed as it kicked him in the stomach.

Harvey watched as he leaned against the door with an easy smile, waiting for the woman who had stolen _his_ heart.

Something in him whispered to go and stop her. To tell her everything before it was too late.

_To go and fight for her._

But before he could make a decision, Donna came out of the building, heading towards Mark with a grin.

Harvey’s world stood still as he took in her form fitting blue dress and the way she wore it as if it had been made specifically for her and no one else. It was perfect.

_She was perfect._

And she wasn’t his.

That much was clear as she sauntered towards Mark with a dark look in her eyes that Harvey had the privilege of seeing only once before.

He would never see that again. He would never have her that way again.

Mark opened the door for her and she got in before he entered on the driver’s side and then they were gone.

 _She_ was gone.

Harvey was in a nightmare and he couldn’t wake up.

His throat burned as he stared at the spot she stood in only moment ago.

It sunk in then that things would never go back to the way they were.

He clenched his hands into fists, his nails digging into his palms as he desperately tried to ground himself. He could feel himself beginning to spiral out of control as the words _she’s gone_ repeated themselves in his brain on an endless loop like a broken record.

Logically, a part of him knew that he could still try to talk to her. He would see her at work tomorrow and maybe he could try again.

But he also knew that she would be better off without him.

_He had to let her go._

So for once in his life he decided to do the selfless thing.

_He decided to put her first._

It was the least he could do when she had been putting him over herself for more than a decade.

“Take me home Ray,” he finally instructed his driver after an eternity had passed.

Donna Paulsen deserved all of the stars in the sky. Harvey wasn’t capable of giving her even one.

So he let himself be swallowed by sadness because he didn’t really care about anything anymore and when he got home, he found himself downing one glass of scotch after the other.

 _She would be happy with Mark_ he told himself.

That was all that mattered.

As he stumbled into bed however, he grabbed his phone, composing a text to Donna in his drunken state.

_I want you._

But he never hit send.

**Author's Note:**

> Lowkey don’t like this but whatever. Thanks for reading.


End file.
